Thursday, January 2, 2014

I lost focus

Over the last couple of years, I have been so focused on developing myself into becoming a Rioter and getting myself into Riot that I've totally lost sight on why I started the chase. Then after being hired at Riot, I felt a bit lost.

I honestly was surprised and super excited I got hired, but after being at Riot for a few weeks I started feeling insecure about being a Rioter (more on this later).

Then I began asking myself and looking again at my career and personal growth - What the heck do I want to be moving toward? Well. Honestly I haven't though that far. The 'plan' has always been; 1- get into Riot; 2- figure the rest out. I have such a diverse background, and I didn't know what to do with it.

Although I was fairly lost, I had a clue where I was going toward. The lucky thing is that I am at Riot Games. Riot values its employee and their growth. So like any idiot would do, I asked for advice. I had a meeting with my Dev Manager, although it was an extremely short meeting, it was extremely helpful.

The meeting left me with a lot of unanswered questions and a different perspective, but one thing really stuck with me from that meeting (Paraphrased)
You don't want to build yourself to a job at Riot. You want to become world-class at whatever role you are passionate about and become so damn good at it so that you can be that at any other company. 
Of course, I still had no idea what I was really passionate about, I was lost from the years of focusing on breaking into the industry. This left me thinking over my winter vacation;

During my enlightening holiday, I came across the blog of a System Designer, Alexander Brazie, at Riot Games: http://alexanderbrazie.blogspot.ca/ . I pretty much then spent that entire night reading all his game design posts and trying to learn as much as possible.. then it hit me.

I am still stupidly passionate about game design, no one would go off reading a blog up until 4 am in the morning and have time fly by without noticing it unless they are super passionate about it. I want to be a designer, I still want to be a designer. I may have the capacity to program the game systems, or the capacity to manage those game projects, but ultimately, I am most passionate about and would be most satisfied by creating and designing those game content to players to enjoy.


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